Staying Home

Fourteen more days as a working girl.  I mentioned it here, but its really starting to sink in. Its the painful process of knowing what is to come and waiting and waiting for it to happen.  Because if it just happened, then I’d have to adjust quickly.  But this way… this way I have to much time to think.  This is going to be a big change for our family. Everyone of us.  For the first time since I was fifteen, I won’t have a job.  Oh-  I’ll have a job and I believe it will be the hardest one yet.  I’ll be staying home!

My biggest fears are that I’ll never make it out of my yoga pants and will long for adult conversation.  That the days will pass and feel exactly like the one before.  That I’ll be more impatient with my children and be frustrated that I can get very little done when I’m the mom to three (or even two).  I fear that I’ll miss the beautiful things (the important things) because I’m frustrated about the craziness.

I want this to be a great change.

I know quite a few of you that read along are/were stay at home moms.  Please talk to me. What keeps you sane?  Do you structure your days?  Are there certain games/activities your toddler children love doing?

I’m ready to read your thoughts.

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8 thoughts on “Staying Home

  1. First of all, I’m not ‘sane’ right now, and I’m not a mom yet. Second, your yoga pants are pretty darn cute, so don’t worry if that’s all you wear. Third, I think you are going to do awesome as a stay at home mom. I would give you the advice of planning ‘outings’ for you with the kids. Places that are kid friendly—doesn’t have to be expensive…the park, the library, just driving around to look at a new construction project. I think it is important to get out of the house, and even if you just drive to a drive thru to get hot chocolate—that’s super special. 🙂
    I love u! Keep blogging so we all can gleen of your experiences. 🙂

    anna

  2. My best advice is to connect with other stay-at-home moms. They will be your lifeline. Whether you get together and let the kids play while you chat over tea or just talk on the phone, you need these women in your life. Also, get out of the house by yourself some time during the week. It will help you keep your sanity. I would recommend a loose schedule. I think little ones thrive on a bit of a routine, but I don’t have the personality to be a nazi about it. We’re pretty general about it: breakfast, get dressed, make beds, go outside to play or go for a walk, run errands if necessary (surprise! you can do it with 3 kids if you have to!), lunch, naps/quiet time, short tv time, more play or little chores…you get the idea. I don’t keep it on a clock or anything. You will be great, and your kiddos will love having you around! This will be a blessing for you. 🙂

  3. Liz,
    I stopped working FT on July 5th this year, and although we would love to have little ones in our lives, we still do not. At first, my plan was to prepare for and apply to grad school to complete a doctorate’s degree in nursing to become a family NP. I was studying to take the GREs and went to an info session on the DNP program at the UofM. I even found a PT job that would be flexible enough yet pay enough that I could work & go to school both. The week prior to my first day Andy started having chest pains….after a few clinic trips & diagnostics, we found it was caused by stress & sleep deprivation (I.e. too busy). I had to turn down this wonderful PT job & start looking again in CO, as we decided that we needed a change of pace & to finally be closer to family.

    This is all to say that I’ve been at home more than I ever was…at first I relished in it, cuz I was tired & burnt out. Then I worked hard to finish projects that had been waiting forever (such as unpacking the last box after living here over a year & filing papers going back 2 years). Then I found myself reclaiming pieces of myself that I had pushed aside just to survive the busy-ness (like working out, hobbies, connecting again with friends & time with God). Through all this, though, I have to continually find ways to get out of the house – it keeps me sane & helps the days not run together. I have to be careful to not fill my days with so many goals that I go insane with trying to keep with expectations that are too high. But I do have a schedule & ongoing things that keep me from staying home all the time. I would encourage you to choose carefully how you fill your days & take time for you & for you & Ryan, in addition to filling your days with being a wonderful stay-at-home mom (which I have no doubt you will be!).
    I’m not sure if any of the above will be helpful or not, since I’m not a mom yet, but hopefully there’s something there to encourage you. I always thought that I would go crazy not working at least PT every week (I work a few shifts a month right now, until we move), but I’m fairly certain that I am happier now than I ever was working FT. I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to work FT for a couple of years upon moving to CO, but I actually wish now that I didn’t have to…strange how things change. Miss you, Liz! If you find yourself needing adult conversation, don’t hesitate to call!
    Rachel

  4. Hi Liz,

    After reading your comments, I agree with Rachel. I find a way every day to get out of the house. This even means if I spend an hour at the McDonalds playplace, a few minutes from my house so that Hailey can run out all of her energy to take a good nap.

  5. Hey Liz, Our daily schedula is a lot like Tessa described. We always try to stay home monday, because that is my day to do laundry and catch up on other chores. But then the other 4 mornings are often filled with our local Mom’s Club activities, our informal church moms group, our ECFE class which is a community class, and a day of errands. We’re usually out of the house for about 2 hours those mornings. I try to always get back by noon so we can have a lunch, and then quite/nap/TV time starts exactly at 1:00. Roman takes a nap, I take a shower or work on things, and Ave gets to watch an hour of television. At 2:00 he knows to turn off the TV and quietly come find me. From 2-3 we do homeschooling activities. At 3 we go wake up Roman and have a snack together. After that we may go outside, read books together, or just turn on a CD of kids songs for the kids to play to while I run around the house and try to put things in order. One thing I have learned about myself, from staying home, is that I am not and never will be a Type A personality mom. The state of my house is usally pretty cluttered, despite my best attempts. I’m still asking GOd to change me and make me more effecient, but I have learned to let go and not care so much that I’m far from perfect. Afterall- a happy mom makes for a happy home! So do the things to take care of your faith, mental and emotional health, and relationships- and the housework can wait!

  6. Liz – you are at the beginning of a great adventure! I stopped working outside of our house when Matthew turned three and I had some of your same concerns. What really helped was having a few things firmly scheduled throughout the week. Bible Study (with a group of other moms and someone else to watch the kids) on Tuesday at 9:30, Story time at the library on Wed at 10:30. Lunch at my sister’s on Thursday to help with her kids. I was part of a small kid swap for a while (2 moms in with kids and 3 moms out for a set amount of time). My sister also designates cleaning and laundry days and finds that helpful.
    We also had and continue to have “rest time” every afternoon. Once the kids quit taking naps, they started “resting” in their room for at least an hour. Matthew was happy to lie on his bed and look at books and then started listening to books on CD. Katie (5) can’t sit still, so she listens to music or a story and plays in her room. I sometime rest/nap, but it’s also my time in the middle of the day to work on something that doesn’t require helpers. My line is that “everyone needs time alone – especially Mom!” Even now, they both clamor for their “rest time” (and Matthew’s turning 9 on Friday).
    You’ll also need to make your weekends look different from your weekdays, otherwise you’ll go crazy with the sameness. Grant is home most of Sat and Sun, so everyone does chores together on Sat morning. We’re trying to limit our activities on Sunday, with the goal of keeping the Sabbath. (Keri Wyatt Kent’s book, REST, is great!).
    Keep us posted on your journey!

  7. Liz, I know what you are feeling. When Ryan was born and we made the decision for me to stay home, it was a huge change. I was 31 years old and had always either gone to school or worked. It was a big adjustment, but I never have regretted making that decision. I think one of the most important things is make a little time for yourself to get away from the children. At different times I was fortunate to have a “mother’s day out” program to put the kids in. In those times where I couldn’t afford to do that, I had a friend with children close to the same ages. We would swap off and keep each other’s children for a few hours so the other mom could have a break. If you can find some other stay-at-home moms and get together with your children and have some fun times, it helps you and the children.
    I think it is somewhat helpful to have a routine and some structure, but you don’t have to be legalistic about it. A lot of that depends on your personality and what you are comfortable with.
    I know it will take some adjusting, so don’t get discouraged. You will do a great job as a full time Mom, and it will be the hardest job you have ever had, but the most rewarding one.

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