We had our ultrasound Friday. The night before Ryan and I were lying in bed anticipating/talking about the next morning. In the past an ultrasound has meant finding out the sex of our babies. That has been the “eventful” part of our ultrasounds.
On Friday one minute we were thrilled to see our baby moving and whole and then a minute later something was wrong. Time stopped.
I’ve struggled the past days on what I wanted to share here. I need to write and I knew if I sat down it would come out. Here is real life for us right now-
On Friday we were told our baby has a Choroid Plexus Cyst (a cyst on the brain). The cyst itself is not harmful to the baby, and typically goes away on its own. Still, its rare.. about 1-3% of fetuses will develop a CPC. When a CPC is found, the radiologist scrutinizes every other body part to look for abnormalities: heart, head, hands, feet, or stunted growth of the baby (an hour and a half ultrasound in our case). If nothing else is found, this would be a case of an isolated CPC. In our case, our baby is measuring small for a due date of April 15th. This makes the CPC look like a greater risk for our baby because it could mean there is another reason for the cyst. So what does this mean? We wait. We pray the cyst leaves.
I’ll go back for another detailed ultrasound in a few weeks. Until then- we need to be patient. I need to remind myself that anything could happen to any of my babies at any time. For as much as I long to protect and carry this baby, I have no control over its life. I’m choosing to trust now and again and again. Because thats all I can do.