when i’m not enough

Why won’t kids go to sleep at the end of a long day?  They play outside, run in circles, take a nice hot bubble bath after dinner, read stories.. It’s the perfect setup for a twelve hour stretch of (to die for) sleep.  Why in the world would you fight that?

I’m entering a phase where I need more rest.  Its imperative. Ryan and I were talking about it over the weekend.  We need sleep (or better sleep) to do this season of parenting well. And yet anytime we try to cash in early someone is up crying or crawling in-between us in bed.

I may need to check into a hotel to get the kind of rest I’ve been lacking (for years).

I’ve learnt quite a bit about my body since becoming a mama.  I conquered a feat that scared me to death most of my life.  I had a baby (and now I’ve had three).  My body was strong enough to do it!  It’s an incredible thing what your body will go through.  With Lucia I was induced & labor progressed so quickly that when I asked for drugs.. my “window” had passed.  I picture that moment.. frantically telling myself I could do this… I could do this.. I had to do this.  And I think: I was a rockstar that night.

But -we’re almost six months post baby again and my body crashes about this time.  The combination of hard pregnancies, hard labors (or a c section), and major lack of sleep.  My body screams to get my attention.  And I have no choice but to stop and try to rest.  It’s so frustrating for me.  How do I slow down?

Someone recently asked me how I need Jesus in my life right now.  What a question!  I need Jesus in my life to give me strength that I could never muster up on my own.  I need Jesus to be enough, when I know I’m not.  I need Jesus to teach me to sit and be rather than do.  I need Jesus.


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