my way

Some days are just harder than others.  Or maybe the day itself isn’t the problem? Maybe it’s the combination of a lot of small things.  And then one last thing happens- Colette soaks through her diaper (white sitting on my hip).  Jameson has (what seems to be a migraine), and while I’m comforting him Colette falls into a kitchen cabinet and busts her lip open.

Suddenly it ALL seems overwhelming.  And then I remind myself.. the only control I have in today is me.  My response. My attitude.  

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I had a conversation with Ryan a couple months ago.  We had just closed on our house.  I was tired.  We were still adjusting to his new job.  And I said that night… I wanted nothing to change for awhile now.  No moving, job changes, new members of our family… just a season of “being”.

A month later Ryan was gone on a work trip and called to tell me our lead pastor was going to be stepping down.  A month after that my youngest (baby) sister emailed and asked if she could live with our family for her senior year of high school.

Slightly ironic because i wanted NO change.

“Do small things with great love”.  I’m making this my motto for this season of our life. When I look at big changes as a whole it’s scary because I don’t know what the big picture will end up looking like.  I don’t know what will be needed along the way.  So, I’m choosing to focus on the small things.  today.

It’s anticipation in having my sister move in next week, and yet loss as I think about what she is missing.  It’s gratitude for the short time we’ve served with our pastor, and faith that we came to our church for a reason.  With much to be thankful for and many prayers for strength.  We take a step at a time.

 

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