jameson

it’s our job to let them grow up, to let them become big and smart, but it’s so tempting to keep them little forever, or at least to try.

IMG_4618-Dear Jameson-

You are five.  A very big five.  At your Doctor’s visit last week your height was off the charts. Dr. Winsett said: “ Jameson, you’ll be bigger than your mama before we know it”.  A great proud smile crept on your face as you looked up at me.  My eyes widened.  I want to keep this moment a little longer.. you sitting on my lap with that great proud smile.

This year we’re doing kindergarten at home.  We decided we weren’t ready to send you to school this year.  Not because you weren’t ready, but because we weren’t ready to send you.  We’ve been working on math, art, and reading at home.  At five you are reading so well.  I guess it makes sense (as you’ve loved books since you were a baby), but I’m shocked how well you read. Tonight you were reading The Magic Tree House Books aloud by yourself.  It is often we find you up late reading.  

You’re a boy with a plan.  You like things the way you like them.. and I’ve learned that structure keeps you happier.  You want to know what we’re doing next.  Everyday.  You also have a contagious belly laugh and love to joke.  You’re affectionate and sensitive.  You want us to cuddle.  You’ll often stroke my hair or hand while I’m reading to you which melts me in a second.  When I think of your ever growing personality.. I think you’re a pretty splendid blend of your dad and I.

I’m so thankful for the time when I had just you.  It was sweet and new.  On the days when our time is interrupted I could feel guilty that I can’t give you my undivided attention.. but then I see you helping Colette or reading to Lucia and am thankful.  I always wanted you (my boy) first because I think every girl should get a big brother!

You are big and strong and growing.  When we were pregnant with you I was so miserably sick those first months.  I fought to keep hydrated.  I lost weight until my PJ’s were hanging off me and I worried that this baby inside me wouldn’t get enough.  That it wouldn’t thrive. I remember praying over and over: “please grow this baby.  grow this baby healthy and strong”.  

My- have you grown.  If only now I could keep you small a bit longer..

*photo by Kiley Marissa Photography*

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